Tuesday 22 November 2011

A Pep Talk For Lonely Hearts This Holiday Season



Yep, it’s that time again.  Time to settle in to the season of warmth and togetherness.  The great singles party known as Halloween has passed, and now we look forward to those quieter, more reflective holidays.  From what we can tell from year-end commercials, this is the season for cozy evenings by the fire, couples’ ice skating, and—soon enough—that New Year’s kiss.  It’s also the season that threatens bitterness in the hearts of burned-out singles all over the world.

Take heart, fellow singles, and remember one thing always:  This is not your only holiday season.

Likelier than not, you’ll be present for several more cozy holidays . . . probably a few decades’ worth.  Your fate is not sealed by the fact that you’re alone beneath the mistletoe, nor does showing up without a date to Thanksgiving mean that you are doomed to a lifetime of loneliness.  In fact, this time next year, you could very well be on the arm of someone who loves you wildly.

No, this is not your only chance to enjoy a holiday season.  But it is your only chance to enjoy this one.

When we seem surrounded by happy couples, it gets so easy to obsess over what we don’t have, but this is the season for embracing that which is already ours.  And what is special about this holiday season?  What victories can you celebrate this year?  Which friends and family members have you grown closer to since New Year’s , and how can you connect with others?  Suppose you do find love in 2011.  Then this will be your last holiday to give your full focus to friends and family.

This will be your last holiday to indulge in all of your traditions, exactly the way you want to . . . without compromise, without awkward holiday dinners at his folks’ place, without feeling overrun on December 26 for having just spent the past 48 hours trying to keep two different families happy.

This is your year to realize that all those ooey-gooey, happy holiday vibes are already within you . . . that even though someone else might help you discover joys you don’t know now, you’re still more than capable of living fully in the meantime.  This year you can announce a Christmas movie marathon that could be otherwise poo-pooed by a bah-humbugged mate.  You can put up your tackiest decorations and bake cookies at two in the morning.  You can curl up on snowy nights and reflect on your life . . . on how far you’ve come, on what you’re grateful for, on your wishes and goals for the coming year.

Love will come some day . . . but this is the only 2010 holiday season you get.  If you feel a little wallow coming on when you get home from a couples-saturated holiday party, give yourself an evening to mope.  It’s good for you.  But don’t let everyone else’s joy be the death of yours.  Relationship or not, you’ve got plenty to be happy about.

Holiday Fun, Single-Style

-Start a new tradition that’s all your own . . . maybe make a special trip or perfect a dish that you can make every year.

-Call in sick and have a cozy day in.

-Have a baking marathon.

-Have a movie marathon.

-Go holiday shopping with your friends.

-Take up an indoor hobby like knitting.

-Take up an outdoor hobby, like skiing.

-Write thank you letters to everyone who has been good to you this year.

-Make a plan to fulfill your New Year’s Resolution(s).

-Let your friends drag you to holiday parties.

-Create the ultimate holiday playlist.

-Volunteer for a holiday-themed charity.

-Visit a relative you rarely see.