It’s certainly not uncommon for a man to have a woman as his best friend. While it’s not uncommon, it CAN become problematic if the relationship is closer than a romantic relationship will ever be for either of them. Sex certainly does not have to be involved for a man and a woman to be monumentally close. It happens all the time with Internet relationships. However, if your partner has a female best friend and she seems to be more a part of your lives and relationship than you would like, you need to do something to change that.
Of course, the first thing you need to figure out is if there’s actually anything inappropriate with their friendship. If your partner is spending hours on the phone with his best friend on a regular basis to the extent that he’s ignoring you; that’s a problem. When you and your partner go out for the evening, if she always has to tag along or, worse yet, he makes plans to go out with her ALONE; there is a very big issue. If she’s invited by your partner to come along on your vacations, then you may definitely want to mention it to him.
Basically, if your partner is treating his “best friend” more like a girlfriend, you’ve got every right to make your feelings known. Hopefully, he’ll be reasonable about it and see your point of view. If he doesn’t, there are a few things to try so that he’ll finally get it.
Once you’ve talked to your partner about including his best friend LESS in your relationship; that should be the end of it. However, if it’s not, and he continues to put her ahead of you, it may be time to go out and find your OWN best friend: a male, of course. This is known as giving him a taste of his own medicine. Show him how it feels to be left at home while you go out for a night on the town with your best friend. Be sure to bring your best friend along on outings and trips with you and your partner. Actually, this could work better than you had hoped if HIS best friend and YOUR best friend hook up.
If his best friend has a partner of her own, you may try sitting down and talking things over with him. It may be that he’s just as frustrated as you are with this friendship and the two of you can work together to tone things down a notch. It’s certainly worth a shot.
Only use an ultimatum as a last resort. Men can be pretty strange creatures when it comes to telling them what they can and cannot do. If you make him choose between his best friend and you, things may not work out like you want them to. Even though he’s not having a sexual relationship with his best friend, he may decide that he would still rather keep her in his life and get rid of you. If that happens, all you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned. Next time, you’ll know what to watch for in the BEGINNING of a relationship rather than spotting it after you’ve settled in.
