A Pep Talk For Lonely Hearts This Holiday Season

Yep, it’s that time again.  Time to settle in to the season of warmth and togetherness.  The great singles party known as Halloween has passed, and now we look forward to those quieter, more reflective holidays.  From what we can tell from year-end commercials, this is the season for cozy evenings by the fire, couples’ ice skating, and—soon enough—that New Year’s kiss.  It’s also the season that threatens bitterness in the hearts of burned-out singles all over the world.

Take heart, fellow singles, and remember one thing always:  This is not your only holiday season.

Likelier than not, you’ll be present for several more cozy holidays . . . probably a few decades’ worth.  Your fate is not sealed by the fact that you’re alone beneath the mistletoe, nor does showing up without a date to Thanksgiving mean that you are doomed to a lifetime of loneliness.  In fact, this time next year, you could very well be on the arm of someone who loves you wildly.

No, this is not your only chance to enjoy a holiday season.  But it is your only chance to enjoy this one.

When we seem surrounded by happy couples, it gets so easy to obsess over what we don’t have, but this is the season for embracing that which is already ours.  And what is special about this holiday season?  What victories can you celebrate this year?  Which friends and family members have you grown closer to since New Year’s , and how can you connect with others?  Suppose you do find love in 2011.  Then this will be your last holiday to give your full focus to friends and family.

This will be your last holiday to indulge in all of your traditions, exactly the way you want to . . . without compromise, without awkward holiday dinners at his folks’ place, without feeling overrun on December 26 for having just spent the past 48 hours trying to keep two different families happy.

This is your year to realize that all those ooey-gooey, happy holiday vibes are already within you . . . that even though someone else might help you discover joys you don’t know now, you’re still more than capable of living fully in the meantime.  This year you can announce a Christmas movie marathon that could be otherwise poo-pooed by a bah-humbugged mate.  You can put up your tackiest decorations and bake cookies at two in the morning.  You can curl up on snowy nights and reflect on your life . . . on how far you’ve come, on what you’re grateful for, on your wishes and goals for the coming year.

Love will come some day . . . but this is the only 2010 holiday season you get.  If you feel a little wallow coming on when you get home from a couples-saturated holiday party, give yourself an evening to mope.  It’s good for you.  But don’t let everyone else’s joy be the death of yours.  Relationship or not, you’ve got plenty to be happy about.

Holiday Fun, Single-Style

-Start a new tradition that’s all your own . . . maybe make a special trip or perfect a dish that you can make every year.

-Call in sick and have a cozy day in.

-Have a baking marathon.

-Have a movie marathon.

-Go holiday shopping with your friends.

-Take up an indoor hobby like knitting.

-Take up an outdoor hobby, like skiing.

-Write thank you letters to everyone who has been good to you this year.

-Make a plan to fulfill your New Year’s Resolution(s).

-Let your friends drag you to holiday parties.

-Create the ultimate holiday playlist.

-Volunteer for a holiday-themed charity.

-Visit a relative you rarely see.

Budget-Friendly Gift Ideas

 
With the holiday season comes the pressure of gift buying.  If you’re currently in a relationship or trying to win someone’s heart, you’re probably wracking your brain for the perfect gift.  And if—like most of us—you’re on a strict budget, you may also be wondering if there’s any chance you can find a gift that is both worthy of your partner and gentle on your checking account.

Allow yourself a sigh of relief.  Your mom meant what she said when you made her that macaroni birthday card in kindergarten; a little creativity does go a long way.  Here are a few ideas for meaningful gifts on a fixed budget.

Personalized Notebook or Planner.

Find a moderately-priced planner or—if you have a list-maker or journaler to buy for—an affordable notebook.  Then embellish each page with a meaningful quote or a special message from you to your partner.  You can write directly in the book, you can print your words out on colored paper and glue them in . . . whatever works for you.  Not only is this a thoughtful gift, but your partner gets little bits of your love as she uses the notebook each day for the next year.

365 Sweet Nothings

You may want to get an early start on this one . . . it takes a while.  The concept is pretty simple, though.  Find a little decorative box or jar (or decorate one you find at a craft supply store) and fill it with 365 slips of paper, each one with a message from you.  Keep them simple, like “I love your laugh” or “Remember that time we spent an entire day watching Woody Allen movies?”  To mix up your material, you may also want to include some famous quotes that make you think of your partner.  Check out sites like QuoteGarden.com and ThinkExist.com.  When you give this gift to your sweetheart, let him know there’s one message for him for each day of the year.

Collage or Shadow Box

Your relationship is a collection of a million special moments.  Chances are, you’ve collected memorabilia from your favorites.  Dig up old photographs, ticket stubs, postcards, etc, and choose the few that mean the most to you.  Then make a collage or arrange them in a shadow box as an homage to your love that your significant other can hang up and admire.  If you’re feeling truly ambitious, make a scrapbook documenting your relationship or your time together in the last year.

Thrift Store Find

Never underestimate the power of the thrift store.  It’s true, your significant other is probably not into body suites with pit stains, but if you dig a little deeper, you may find a unique piece of jewelry or the favorite childhood game he hasn’t been able to find in stores since his mom sold it at a garage sale.  Sometimes great things come in secondhand packages.

The ________ of the Month Club

Enroll your sweetheart in your own, made-up “Something” of the Month Club.  Maybe it’s the Home-Cooked Meal of the Month or the Sporting Event of the Month or the New Restaurant of the Month.  Think of something you know your partner wishes the two of  you did more, and let your gift be a promise in writing that you’ll fulfill that interest once a month.  It’s like the gift that keeps on giving.  Just be sure to follow through.  If you lose your gusto and cancel the club in March, you will never be allowed to forget it.

It may be clichéd, but in gift giving, it really is the thought that counts.  Big, fancy things are nice, but the average person is much more interested in gifts that come from the heart . . . gifts that remind us that we are known and loved by the people who mean the most to us.  Give from the heart, and your partner probably won’t think to wonder what it cost you.

Online Dating and Safety

Online dating has become an accepted way of meeting and getting to know people for friendship and prospective romantic partners. It’s so convenient to do things this way since you never have to even leave your home to get the ball rolling. You can visit a variety of online dating websites, or you can hop in and out of some dating chat rooms. It’s also possible to get acquainted with someone you’ve come into contact with in your favorite forum. There are so many ways to do this.

One of the biggest concerns with online dating, however, is the issue of safety. Most of the time this applies to women rather than men, although there are definitely some women that can be just as dangerous as the most frightening of men. In addition, it’s difficult to tell who you can trust and who you need to avoid at all costs. There’s just no sure fire way to know. That’s why safety is so very important.

While you can’t always be 100 percent positive that you’ve hooked up with someone completely trustworthy, you can at least take some sensible measures that give you an advantage in this area.

The first one of these is to never give all of your personal information right off the bat. Sure, you need to give someone your first name, but there’s no reason that you should offer your last night along with your phone number and street address. All you need to chat with each other for a while is first names. Some people even go so far as to use aliases in the beginning.

Talking online is relatively safe. You can chat privatly and get a lot of your questions answered about someone while you’re getting to know each other. When you’re ready, you can move things along by chatting via webcam. In this way, you can see each other, which can tell a lot about what someone is really like. This, too, is a great way to get acquainted while remaining safe.

When you’re ready to meet face to face, make it during the day at a very public place. It’s also a good idea to take a friend along with you. That friend can sit somewhere else where you’re in full view, or they can join you until you give the signal that you’re comfortable enough for them to leave. It’s also a good idea to use your own transportation and meet in the agreed upon location.  In this way, your address is still safe and you’ve got your own way to “escape” if you feel the need.

Never meet someone until you’re completely 100 percent comfortable with that person. There are many ways to run background checks on people these days, too. That’s something else that you may want to consider. It’s also a better idea to keep your home’s location a secret until you’ve been dating for a while. When you’re fully relaxed and confident that someone is safe for you to be seeing, then you can open up a bit more. Until then, never take anything at face value.

I Love Him but He’s a Terrible Kisser

Kissing is one of the most intimate things that two people can do with each other. It’s almost as intimate as the act of sex because you’re connected in a truly physical way, especially if you’re using your tongue. When you think about it, you can practically call it Mouth Intercourse. It’s so intimate, in fact, that there are people that will have sex with someone but won’t kiss them unless they’re in love with them.  Anyway, you get the point.

Yes, kissing is a beautiful act. However, there are a significant number of people on the earth that just don’t know how to kiss. This can, many times, be a complete turnoff for some women. They may be very attracted to a man and have all kinds of things in common with him, but the first time they kiss, he slobbers all over her face or sucks at her tongue like a vacuum cleaner. Either way, it’s not conducive to endearing him to her. The only way out of that situation is if the two of them have already formed a bond of some sort so that it’s not imperative that he knows how to kiss well.

If you’re a woman whose partner doesn’t seem to have to slightest idea of how to kiss, there are some ways to handle the situation so that it’s not a total disaster. First of all, though, you need to decide if you care enough about him to make the effort. If everything else about him is perfect, then you may want to try to see what you can do about turning his kissing into something more desirable.

Since men can be rather sensitive about such things as being told that they kiss like a Hoover, you’ll probably need to find a way to show him rather than tell him how you want to be kissed. This doesn’t have to be easier said than done, either. Pick one of those times when you’re sort of just having an impromptu make out session and play with the kissing part. If he tries to dive right in, slow him down by nibbling a bit on his bottom lip. You have to take control of the pace in order to get him to pay attention to what you’re doing.

Now, if he just refuses to follow your lead and keeps diving back in like the slobbering Hoover, you may have to tell him in words that it really turns you on to kiss slowly at first. If you can slow him down, you’re got a great chance of teaching him some new kissing techniques. Granted, he may never turn into the best kisser you’ve ever been with, but if you can get him to try out some of the new things you’re showing him, he’ll at least become more exciting as a kisser. It will also let you know that he’s open to learning new techniques, which can be applied to other parts of your love life. That’s ALWAYS handy information to have.

Signs that Your Woman is Cheating on You

 
Everyone knows that men cheat all the time. It’s almost like it’s in their DNA or something. If it’s genetic, they just can’t help themselves, right?  While that’s probably a lot of nonsense, something else to consider is that women also cheat. They may not cheat quite as much as men, but they DO step out on their men for various reasons. Sometimes they’re better at hiding it than their cheating male counterparts, though. There are signs, however, that you can look for if you think your woman may be cheating on you.

They include:

Accusing YOU of cheating: This is a way of diverting the guilt from herself to you. Even worse, is if you’ve cheated on her before, she may give herself permission to get even with you by cheating. Either way, she knows what she’s done and figures that you may be doing the same thing. 

Starting to look her best when she goes out: When you notice your partner suddenly dressing to the nines when she’s supposedly going grocery shopping or to the gym, you may want to investigate why she needs to look so gorgeous. 

Telling you she needs some space: While this doesn’t always mean she’s cheating, it can mean that she wants you out of the way so she’ll be free to meet a lover. 

Hinting that she’s not happy: If your partner is telling you things like she needs more romance in her life, and that she loves things like getting flowers and love notes, you need to take her seriously. You see, if YOU don’t hear what she’s telling you, someone ELSE WILL. 

Making a new best friend that you’ve never met: In this case, it’s not so much that she’s made a new best friend and you’ve never met this friend, it’s that she’s suddenly spending lots of time with this new friend. In addition, she always has an excuse for why it’s not a good time to meet her. 

Changing her plans at the very last minute: For example, she’s gone out for a night on the town with the new best friend that you’ve never met and calls you around midnight with some excuse for why she’s just going to crash at her friend’s place for the night. 

Your friends are telling you she’s cheating: Of course you don’t want to believe something like that, and she’s told you it’s not true. However, if more than one person tells you they know she’s cheating, it’s probably true. 

Suddenly wanting to keep close tabs on you: When your woman is cheating on you, she needs to make sure that she’s not likely to run into you while she’s doing it.

Making excuses for not having sex: This should be a huge red flag, especially if she was always raring to go in the past. Now, all of a sudden, she’s too tired, doesn’t feel well, or has the most frequent and longest periods in history.

Has no interest in the relationship: She probably doesn’t care enough to even argue with you anymore.
You may think that these are all pretty obvious signs of cheating but you would be surprised at how many of them that men actually miss.

Online dating rules to live: it is never personal

How would your digital rejection survive intact?

This headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is complete, horrendous dating if not extremely, desperate personal? How do you to search for a person who all feel your heart without getting at least a little personal makes?

It seems online strange but when it comes to looking for love, need to remind you that it is not about Sie--at least not for a while. Most of us, have immersed that even a foot in the warm water of online dating have felt at certain times, that perhaps, that we are simply made for computer-based romance. We are not enough photogenic or we just can be; not written Our icebreakers keep getting rejected, and our winks are never returned.

If you happen to be one of the thousands, the success is not on the dating sites, you should definitely take some pictures that show your good side fine-tuning your profile and a friend. But once you have done that, you have to remember that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. If you one of the many dating sites attempts will know that happiness tends to ebb and flow as the Member pool. But most importantly, if someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they do not share you your feelings of attraction, you have to take it personally.

The truth is, you may know why the girl is not interested in. I thought you might have a Boxer and she hates dogs. Perhaps it is intimidated by your intellectual skills and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and want to see where it goes. No matter what has ultimately very little to do with you. And while we all tried to decide that it our massive forehead and clown-like ears, that scenario is rather, that she had something else happens... or they simply not your kind anyway.

8 first date ideas for outdoorsy types

If you looking for something a bit more original than the typical "Dinner and cinema," more power to you. As a woman I can tell you that boys get big brownie points for coming up with and creative planning meetings that prove that more than a newspaper has been opened. If your wife loves communing with nature, are here are some ideas for your first rendezvous that appeal to their casual clothing page and make sure that you get a second date.

Trails - the great mystery about hiking, which says no one, is that it really only by a different name foot. Find a shady way in the neck of the Woods and charge them with for the ride. The landscape will provide a welcome distraction, while learning two each other. 

Rock climbing - one of my all-time requires favorite events, this one a plan, such as the two of you need to take an intro class, if you do not experienced mountaineers. However, there are many gyms to offer the affordable introductions, and generally you will receive your own teacher. Develop trust from backup each other, then you meet your post-climbing appetite through access to eat something. 

A picnic in the Park - a classic first-date tour, is it hard to go wrong with a blanket, a picnic basket and some home-made treats. Make your thoughtfulness shine through you, then seal the deal with PB & j.riding - risk of over-generalizing, women love horses. Whether it angle the "White Knight" or just the excitement of the session on an animal several times your size, riding lessons or even a tour à la Cheval, will the romance factor of each excursion above. 

Kayaking - for those who happily enough life close to a body of water, why not a kayak rent (Yes, only men... one,) (You do paddling) and float around? While swimming probably a little much is (it would be almost naked probably would rather not for the first time, that the two of them depend on that), the water is ideal for Sparks, see below.

A daredevil skydiving – you have in your hands, you create by jumping from a plane accompanied by a lifelong bond. Not for the faint of heart, it is an incredible rush - and the thrill of touching back down on the Earth is sure to bring you two together closer sweet, solid.

Ride bikes - looking for something a little tamer? Area of the city on two wheels. If you're serious about advertising this one, you should also a tandem bicycle for rent. There is a risk, and may be a little cheesy side, but it's hard to deny the appeal of "a bicycle built for two".

Camping - it could be a stretch for a first date, but if you really jonesing for an outdoor adventure, throw a tent in the truck and wipe your way to a secluded place. Advantages: No TV, menu-review or snotty waiter, you distract. Disadvantages: Bears!

Where do you stand on love and money?

What kind of money-savvy do you look for in a significant other? If you're baffled by the question, it's time to get wise. In tough economic times like these (heck, in any times at all), money and how the person you might want to eventually marry handles, thinks about and spends their greenbacks can have a massive impact on your would-be relationship (not to mention whether your future kids go to college or work at Burger King).

Most dating sites take you through the in's and out's, asking you practically everything about the kind of person you'd like to be with. What do they look like? Where do they hang out? What size shoe do they wear? You're grilled about everything except how they manage finances, who they go to for advice about monetary setbacks, and what they'd be willing to give up if they lost their only source of income.

But Perfectmatch is different. The site's Love & Money Assessment lets you evaluate your financial compatibility with your matches, addressing this crucial (but often taboo) subject before the ball gets rolling. Integrated into the Duet Total Compatibility System, these 7 questions ask about your financial habits and values to help you determine the ideal economic profile for your potential mates.

Are you searching for a saver or desperate for someone who's willing to shell out for spontaneity? Find out how you stack up financially, and save now with our Perfectmatch.com discount!

About You: Tackling the Self-Description in Your Online Profile

You’ve found your most flattering photos.  You’ve filled out your age, height, and zodiac sign.  You’ve even listed your twenty favorite bands.  But the Self-Summary section is still blank, the cursor blinking incessantly in the empty box as if to say, “C’mon, let’s get this done.”

Most online daters hate the About Me section of their profiles.  How do you sum yourself up in just a couple hundred words?  Harder still, how do you sum yourself up in just a few hundred words while making yourself desirable to prospective matches?

The first step is to relax.  You don’t have to capture the true essence of your being, you just have to spout off a few facts about yourself that might pique someone’s interest.  You also don’t have to dig up amazing accomplishments or wow the crowds with your crazy experiences.  Most singles aren’t looking for someone with amazing stats; they’re looking for someone whose personality and interests mesh with theirs.  All you have to do is give them a small sample of who you are.

Here are a few ideas to get you started.

What are your likes/dislikes?

This little maneuver has been done to death, but that’s because when you get specific, it really communicates a lot about you.  The old “I like honesty, I dislike bad attitudes” won’t help you much, so think of the details.  “I love girls who laugh at old Adam Sandler movies, and I can’t stand trendy cupcake shops.”  That statement reveals a lot about who that dude is, and—because it’s so specific—he now has all Sandler-loving girls imagining themselves nestled in the crook of the profiler’s arm and laughing it up over Billy Madison.

What are your hobbies?

Again, this is a generic approach that can be made stronger through specifics.  There are plenty of people online who play guitar . . . so maybe use up a few more words to say that you play guitar for your all-girl Aerosmith cover band.  But as always, err on the side of safety when you talk specifically about your free time.  It’s a great idea to talk about your favorite trail, but avoid details like “Every Saturday at 8 a.m., I hike Secluded Trail at Creepy Woods State Park because the park is totally empty at that time.”  An exaggeration, of course, but you get my drift.

Where are you from and why does it matter?

“Where are you from?” isn’t just for small talk.   People usually ask because where we come from shapes who we are.  When you talk about your hometown, elaborate.  How has your background shaped you?  What values of your culture do you still embrace?  For example, “I grew up in a small town in Iowa, and while it’s kind of a relief to me to be in a big city for once, I’m trying to hang on to the friendly habits I learned while living in a place where I knew all my neighbor’s names.”

What do you value most?

One of the best things about dating online is that we’re likelier to be upfront about the important things in our profile than we are when we’re chatting someone up at a bar.  There’s usually no smooth way to slip in a comment like, “I really believe in open communication.”  So take advantage of the opportunity to get on your soapbox of values for a minute and talk about those priorities in your online profile.  You’re likely to strike a chord with someone who can relate.

Where are you headed?

Most prospectives are going to be curious about your personal goals.  Whether you’re focused on your career ambition, personal development, or a bit of both, revealing your vision of a future self will reveal a lot about your priorities.  It will also help you snag the attention of someone who envisions a complementary future for herself.  Of course, the key here is to choose your topic carefully.  You may want to avoid saying things like, “In five years I hope to have a handle on this body odor issue.”

What are you looking for?

You’ve probably already answered this question to some degree in other aspects of your profile . . . what sex you’re interested in, whether you’re looking for something serious, you may have even listed an age range and a body type preference.  But this is your chance to get into the details . . . to tell the folks browsing your profile that you want someone with whom you can laugh or take road trips or talk politics.  Just be sure that you separate your actual standards from your fantasy.  You don’t want to lose a great match because you mentioned that you want to have a relationship with someone who can jam with you as you explore the hip-hop/country music hybrid you’re creating.  Also make sure you keep this portion of your profile positive.  Griping about all the losers who didn’t live up to your expectations is a guaranteed turn-off.

Share a few random facts.

I’ve found that this is weirdly affective.  Does it seem relevant that you have an irrational fear of koala bears or that you broke your leg when you fell out of a shopping cart at age four?  Nope.  But these things are interesting, they’re quirky, and they add a little more demension to your character.

Describing yourself is a daunting assignment.  So give yourself a break by looking at it from a new perspective.  It’s not about defining who you are in one paragraph.  It’s about offering a teaser of your full personality . . . a collection of facts that give other singles a taste of what you’re about.  And if you find that the profile you’ve developed isn’t working?  Well, nothing’s permanent; you can edit any time.  Relax and have fun with it.

Create a Killer Online Dating Profile

 
So many single people are turning to online dating these days that it’s considered to be just as normal as how dating used to be conducted. Admittedly, though, there are many major differences between the two. One of these is you have to come up with an entirely new way of talking about yourself. You know how when you first meet someone new and you both want to know all about each other’s likes and dislikes? That has to be done with online dating, too, except you’re going to be telling prospective dating partners about yourself BEFORE they even meet you.

That sounds a bit odd, but it’s actually part of the entire online dating experience. People find each other through their dating profiles left on various dating websites. Of course, you must become a member of each website before you’re allowed to put up a profile about yourself, but once you do, you want that profile to be, well, PERFECT! This is the way that people of like minds will find each other so you want yours to be the absolute best that you can make it.

That may sound like a tall order, but it’s not really all THAT hard. Following is a checklist of sorts to help you along in creating a killer online dating profile that will draw the right people to you and have them drooling in anticipation:

Take a new photo: One of the biggest mistakes that you can make on a dating profile is to put up a picture of yourself taken ten years ago or, even worse, use a photo of someone else. It’s vital to use your own photo. After all, you DO plan to actually MEET one of these people and you want to be upfront about what they’re going to see. It’s good to take a new photo if possible, so that you can take some time to prepare for it and look your most amazing. 

Be honest: Never write down what you THINK people will want to see. You’ve got to be honest about everything. This includes your appearance, your taste in music, movies, and television shows. Don’t make up things just to seem more exciting. Think about it this way: Don’t say that you’re 5’8 and weigh 125 pounds, love metal music, like gory horror flicks and enjoy skydiving if the truth is actually that you’re 5’3, weigh 140 pounds, love country western music, romantic comedies and that you’re terrified of heights. You can see that these two descriptions will attract completely different people and they WILL notice the difference in your tastes. 

Be a little mysterious: Don’t give everything about yourself away where everyone can see it. A little mystery is a good thing. Just be sure to find that delicate balance between being a bit mysterious and an out and out weirdo.

If you take some time to make your online dating profile a work of art, you’ll like the type of people it attracts more than if you just slap something together and stick up there. That’s a guarantee.

Help! His Best Friend is a Woman

 
It’s certainly not uncommon for a man to have a woman as his best friend. While it’s not uncommon, it CAN become problematic if the relationship is closer than a romantic relationship will ever be for either of them. Sex certainly does not have to be involved for a man and a woman to be monumentally close. It happens all the time with Internet relationships. However, if your partner has a female best friend and she seems to be more a part of your lives and relationship than you would like, you need to do something to change that.

Of course, the first thing you need to figure out is if there’s actually anything inappropriate with their friendship. If your partner is spending hours on the phone with his best friend on a regular basis to the extent that he’s ignoring you; that’s a problem. When you and your partner go out for the evening, if she always has to tag along or, worse yet, he makes plans to go out with her ALONE; there is a very big issue. If she’s invited by your partner to come along on your vacations, then you may definitely want to mention it to him.

Basically, if your partner is treating his “best friend” more like a girlfriend, you’ve got every right to make your feelings known. Hopefully, he’ll be reasonable about it and see your point of view. If he doesn’t, there are a few things to try so that he’ll finally get it.

Once you’ve talked to your partner about including his best friend LESS in your relationship; that should be the end of it. However, if it’s not, and he continues to put her ahead of you, it may be time to go out and find your OWN best friend: a male, of course. This is known as giving him a taste of his own medicine. Show him how it feels to be left at home while you go out for a night on the town with your best friend. Be sure to bring your best friend along on outings and trips with you and your partner. Actually, this could work better than you had hoped if HIS best friend and YOUR best friend hook up.

If his best friend has a partner of her own, you may try sitting down and talking things over with him. It may be that he’s just as frustrated as you are with this friendship and the two of you can work together to tone things down a notch. It’s certainly worth a shot.

Only use an ultimatum as a last resort. Men can be pretty strange creatures when it comes to telling them what they can and cannot do. If you make him choose between his best friend and you, things may not work out like you want them to. Even though he’s not having a sexual relationship with his best friend, he may decide that he would still rather keep her in his life and get rid of you. If that happens, all you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned. Next time, you’ll know what to watch for in the BEGINNING of a relationship rather than spotting it after you’ve settled in.

The Competitive Partner’s Guide To Surviving Your Mate’s Success

 
Your partner is first and foremost your . . . well . . . partner.  She’s the person you know will always have your back.  She’ll celebrate with you in your victories and encourage you in your defeats.  She believes in you, brags about you, and wishes you well.

Even so, if you’re the competitive type, it can be easy to forget that your mate is playing on your team.  This is especially true if you’re going through a slump at the same time that he seems to be inundated with wild successes.  A little frustration is natural, but you may want to start looking for way to quiet that competitive streak if you’re finding that frustration is blossoming into resentment.  If your best friend is starting to look like Enemy Number One, it may be a good time to try some of these tips.

Remind yourself, one more time, that this is a partnership.

He may be basking in his current success, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t rooting for you anymore.  If your mate is having a sudden wave of victories, you may be feeling a little unimportant.  You may feel like you’re standing in his shadow, staring up at this giant of a human being who can accomplish all he puts his mind to.  You may be wondering if he still thinks you’re good enough.  Believe me, he does.  In his mind, you’re not a bug in his shadow.  You’re among the greatest reasons he was able to succeed.  You were his strength and support throughout the journey, and you’re the one person he knows believes in him.  He knows this because he believes in you, and he’s eager to see you succeed.  In victory and in defeat, you’re in this together.

Remember that your turn will come.

It’s the natural pattern of life.  Sometimes she’ll be up and you’ll be down.  Other days, the tables will turn.  You each get your chance in the spotlight.  Be patient and faithful that your time will come, and use this opportunity to share in her excitement.  She’ll remember how eagerly you cheered her on when your turn for success comes around.

Take a break.

While it’s important to celebrate with your partner, bear in mind that you can—and should—take time out for yourself.  If your mate is suddenly inundated with parties and events and performances related to his recent success, it’s okay to duck out of some of the less significant ones.  You need to nurture your own ego, too; it’s hard to do that when your social calendar is filled only with his interests in mind.

Have other hobbies.

If you and your partner have the same career, same interests, or same skill set, a disparity in your individual achievements can be especially biting.  If you’re feeling unintentionally upstaged by your mate at a skill you both share, now might be a good time to tap into the hobbies that are yours and yours alone.  That’s not to say you should stop cultivating your similar interest.  But it is a good idea to have a skill that’s all your own to remind yourself that—no matter how much you may share—you will always have some unique talents that are only yours.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

As previously mentioned, the tables will one day turn.  And when they do, how would you hope for your partner to respond?  Wouldn’t you want him to embrace the partnership rather than rushing headlong into competitive mode?  Wouldn’t you love to share your victories with him, rather than spending your celebration time trying to convince him he’s not a loser just because he hasn’t accomplished what you did?  I know, I know . . . knowing the right way to behave is way different from finding it within yourself to actually behave that way.  But at least tune into that empathy and remember that your partner deserves to enjoy this moment.  Even if it doesn’t take the sting away altogether, it might help you find the strength to muster one more heartfelt smile.

There’s no easy cure for a crushed ego . . . but there is a cure for sour grapes.  It comes down to knowing yourself—knowing when it’s time to back away and give yourself some space and knowing when it’s time to suck it up, dig up that adoring smile, and tell your partner how proud you are of her.  Because if you dig down beneath all the bitterness, you’ll find that you actually, truly are.

Romantic Notions That Can Slow Down Your Dating Life

There should always be room for romance in your life.  Romance is what makes love easy, what makes love intoxicating and thrilling.  But romance does not make love complete . . . nor should it guide all relationship decisions.

The trouble with romance is that it often becomes our focus when we seek something real.  It also inspires millions of proverbs and insights that motivate us to pursue love with chick-flick style wisdom . . . a type of wisdom that really works best on the big screen.  If you’re looking for something that lasts beyond the Happily-Ever-After kiss, beware of these myths and half-truths:

Love is a feeling.

Okay, this is half true.  When you’ve met someone you really mesh with, you know it by the way you feel . . . by that sense of connectedness and that all-important chemistry.  But lasting love is much more than a feeling.  It’s a decision—a decision to stay connected when life overwhelms you both, to commit yourselves to the work of building a stronger relationship after each set-back, and to offer one another affection and support even when your partner is old news.  The feeling of love doesn’t vanish in a long-term relationship, but it does get drowned out sometimes in the noise of real life.  That’s why a practical coke-and-pizza love is no less important than the ooey-gooey goodness of a wine-and-roses love.

There is one person in the world for all of us.

I may encounter a difference of opinion on this one, but I genuinely believe that there is no such thing as a single soul mate for each of us.  I do believe that we are each unique individuals with an inherent set of standards defining our most compatible mate.  Or to put it more simply, I believe that while you won’t mesh with everyone, you do have a good chance of finding a great match no matter where life takes you.  While it’s crazy romantic to imagine there’s one perfect soul mate for you and that fate will bring him to your doorstep, many opportunities are wasted in wait of such a miracle.  Also, many individuals dwell too long in heartbreak, believing that the one they lost was the only one for them.  Go ahead and feel this way for the first few weeks.  Just know in your head—no matter what your heart is whining about—that you will turn another corner and find someone you love just as much.  Possibly more.

Love finds you when you’re not looking for it.

We’ve all got that friend—the one who feeds us this line while swearing that she had given up on love when she ran into the man of her dreams.  Almost all of my friends have told me this story, and while I don’t doubt that they remember it that way, I can tell you for a fact at least half of them were talking dating sites or moping about loneliness only a couple weeks before they met the ones they married.  If you need a break from dating, by all means, take it!  But don’t let yourself believe that you have to stop trying in order for it to happen. Take a tip from my brother, who suddenly announced one day that he was going to find the woman he was going to marry.  He had just come off a string of horrible dates and was battling a pessimistic view of the dating world when he declared that there was no reason why he couldn’t find an amazing woman, all it took was getting out there with a positive attitude.  Within a month he met the woman who is now his wife.

Love changes you.

Another half-truth.  Love does change you.  All relationships change you.  You can’t connect with someone else without learning and evolving.  However, love will not fix you, nor will it fix your partner.  If there’s some self-improving you want to do, it’s in your best interest to work on it now, rather than seek someone else to make you whole.  While a partner is a wonderful support, there will come a time in your relationship when you realize the only person who can “fix” you is you.

All of these romantic notions hold a bit of truth.  They embrace the idea that there is something transformative and mystical about love . . . and to some degree that’s true.  I believe that romance should be embraced.  But I also believe that romance should be seen for what it is—one aspect of love that cannot sustain a relationship without the support of actions and intellect.  Enjoy your romances.  Just remember that when you hit the knitty-gritty part of your relationship, it doesn’t mean the love is gone.  It just means you’ve found a new corner of it.

Keeping The New Date Interested

What are some ways in which you can ensure that your date stays interested in you? Read further to find out what these online dating tips for keeping him or her interested are.

When your online date is interested in you he or she will want to know more about you, and the more you present yourself well to him/her, the more your date will find you irresistible.

Keeping your date wanting to know you more creates an opening for a deeper relationship which could end up in marriage. Since you don’t know much about each other (yet) you will have feel some physical tension that can be fun if you both like each other.

1. Being relaxed and confident while chatting with your online date.
A person who displays these qualities may appear as someone who knows what he or she wants and is ready to go for it.

To be confident means you can be relaxed and be yourself while engaging in a conversation because you feel that you are capable of loving someone who will also love you back.
Having self-confidence can boost your chances of leaving the date wanting more from you since it shows a side of you that your date admires.

2. Complimenting your online date.
Complimenting your date is a nice gesture which can bring about some flattery from him or her. This can also make your online date feel good about him/herself.
You can compliment your date on anything that you feel is worth a few good words. Your date will feel good when you give him or her compliments which can then break down barriers for more communication in the future.

3. Being genuine to your date.
A genuine interest in a person could make the person want to keep coming back because he or she feels that you really are interested in knowing more about him/her. If your online date sees you as being genuine and honest, fear not as the relationship is bound to grow.

4. Engaging in cyber-sex can keep the relationship alive since it could keep the relationship interesting.
You can satisfy each other online which may bring you closer and even the feeling of wanting more from each can be overwhelming. Your date will want to hang around for more if your sex involves flirtatious and passionate pleasures.

5. Be a little mysterious.
A little mystery can be intriguing to your date. The less the date knows about you, the more he or she will have frequent thoughts of you.

In fact, your date may become attracted to you for thinking about you more. You will know this when your date keeps in constant contact with you whenever possible.

One last thought, if you have something to say to your date that will help in knowing each other further and which may keep him/her interested, then don’t be afraid to say it! We hope that you’ve found these online dating tips given to you here quite helpful in your quest for love.

Where are you Mr. Right?

Tired of being single? Tired of all the lonely nights? Have you tried dating alternatives such as online dating and have exhausted all online dating tips but still nothing?

Is Mr. Right as elusive as the Loch Ness monster? What does it take to find Mr. Right?

Scientifically speaking, the odds of finding Mr. Right online is roughly about 1 in 285,000.

But love, like any emotion, is neither black nor white. There are no definite principles applied to them.

They are unpredictable as can be. No formulas or methods to be done to make the process faster or easier.
Wish it would be as simple as that, right?

The greatest mistake women make is that they think too much. They think of all the possibilities of a date going wrong rather than take pleasure in the actual date.

They have a fantasy date and a dream guy. The dream guy then sweeps them off their feet.

They have a certain criteria of their dream guy. When he doesn’t come to par, he’s crossed out of the list.

Come on! Life is not a fairy tale but you can certainly make your own happy ending.

Dating should be a time to explore new options, meet new people and experience new things. Rather than complain about dates gone wrong, isn’t it better to just move on?

Online dating does not have a hard and fast rule. It only encourages people to explore options out of their own comfort zone. It helps you meet other people outside your circle of friends and workplace.

Online dating only broadens your options. And although online dating is a sure time saver, you must also put in the effort. That increases your chances of meeting Mr. Right.

Remember there are millions of online dating subscribers out there looking for love. All you have to do is to just jump in there and let it happen.

Of course it wouldn’t happen overnight. Why not take pleasure in dating? The getting to know you part is one of the best parts of a relationship.

Let go. Have fun. It is okay to want to find Mr. Right but be open to other options as well. You never know that he might be somewhere you least expect him to be.
Serendipity, that’s how you should view love. Meeting a few wrongs would certainly make you appreciate meeting the right one.

Nobody has the secrets in finding the Mr. Right although many claim they do. Your Mr. Right is different from another’s Mr. Right so it doesn’t necessarily mean what works for you will work for others. So don’t expect it to be.

The internet is littered with online dating tips. However, the main thing to remember is, DO NOT LOOK FOR MR. RIGHT. Don’t let your search for Mr. Right ruin your chances of finding him.
When the time is right, he will come into your life. Just appreciate life. The more you look for Mr. Right the more that life passes you by.

Online Flirting 101

When you try something new, fear instantly invades your thoughts. It is the fear of the unknown that sometimes holds you back to what you want.

Online dating certainly feels like that. You’re afraid of what’s going to happen, if whether it will work out or not. Or you may be afraid that it will work but may make a mistake along the way and screw it up.
This is when our online dating tips come into play. One of the fatal mistakes anyone can make is by over-thinking things and not enjoying the process of online dating.

The whole point of getting into online dating is to experience something new and meet new people. It is as straightforward as that. Let yourself be free to enjoy it. Besides, the getting to know you stage and the flirting stage can be the best parts of dating.

Flirting online is somewhat different from the conventional dating, and there are factors that need to be taken into consideration.

First of all, it isn’t face-to-face. You have to rely on digitally inputted words to convey what you want to say. First impressions are based on viewing profiles of potential mates.

Since the basis of finding your potential match is on what you read, words should be more expressive than normal. Each message you want to convey should be written in a way that the feeling is conveyed also.
And with today’s technology, emoticons can be added to make the message more expressive. The most common symbols used are the heart, smileys and even punctuation marks. Capitalization of letters also express immense emotions.

Online dating also provides ways on how to make a connection with potential mates. Winks are usually used on online dating sites. It lets a potential mate know that you are interested.
However, sending several winks to one person isn’t exactly a turn on. Every wink should be followed by a short message. It becomes more personal and not methodical. Be simple with the message.
No one likes to read a novel as a conversation starter. The message must contain your interest in opening the opportunity for future conversations.

After an interest has been expressed, it is time for the hard part: waiting for a reply. Remember that if a reply is not made immediately do not be disappointed. Just move on your next potential mate.
There are a million reasons for a potential mate to not give you an immediate reply, so give them some time and space. It is not a turn on if you keep sending messages. It might seem stalker-like. Open yourself for other options.

The first conversation is crucial for it would lay the foundation for a potential relationship. Let it flow smoothly. Do not force anything too soon. If it will happen, it will happen. These online dating tips can only do so much.

Chemistry is not something that can be produced. It is either there or isn’t. Eventually, you might opt to talk through video or meet face-to-face. Here, it is easier to show that you are interested.
Facial expressions and body language help in understanding the other person’s feelings and intentions. Be aware of the other person. Try to connect with every conversation. Flirting does not come easy for some people but the best way to do it is to be honest with what you are feeling.

Climbing Out of the Relationship Rut

 
One of the most damaging things when it comes to a relationship is when it’s allowed to sink into a rut. Nothing kills passion and interest faster than a boring routine. It doesn’t have to be the Kiss of Death, though, if you realize quickly enough what’s happening, and start taking steps to liven things up a bit. Following are some danger signs to watch for:

Having the same date night all the time: This may have been something you started as a couple when you were both so busy that you actually had to pencil in time together. However, having your date night on the same day of the week all the time takes a little zing out of it all. Be a bit more spontaneous. 

You’re always fighting over something: Try being complimentary sometimes instead of nitpicking every little thing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stand up for yourself; it just means that you need to focus on the positive sometimes, too. 

Sex is routine: Consider having a quickie here and there. There’s nothing quite like spontaneity to put that excited, naughty feeling back into having sex. Don’t let sex become so routine that you start to dread it. 

Your relationship becomes second to your kids: This has a tendency to happen to all couples to some extent. Kids come along and it’s important to nurture and take care of them. This can take a lot of time for many years. Start working to keep your relationship special between the two of you. Give each other an extra hug and kiss when you see each other. It also helps if you can plan some time for just the two of you on a regular basis even if it means hiring a babysitter. 

You forget how to be affectionate with each other: Get creative. Do things like write I Love You on the bathroom mirror in lipstick when you know he’ll be going to take a shower. Write him a naughty love letter and put under his pillow for him to find. Come up with your own ideas. 

Be ready for romance when the time presents itself: Create your very own little Romance Box. Fill it with candles, incense, massage oil, and whatever else the two of you like. In that way, you’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to set the stage for some heavy duty romance.

The important thing to remember once you become a couple is that you’re still two people that have passion and love for each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Spend some time reminiscing either alone or together. Many times that walk down Memory Lane can work wonders as some very effective foreplay. Don’t let your relationship suffer from routine overload. Keep it fresh and exciting. Granted, it will never be the same as it was in the beginning, but you can actually make it BETTER when you work together on keeping the romance in your relationship.

Meeting The Parents: Keeping Cool For The First Encounter

Even the most confident among us gets a little anxious about meeting a significant other’s parents for the first time.  And the more you dig your partner, the more you dread the moment you have to “prove yourself” to her parents.

If you’re about to take this next big step in your relationship, take heart.  These situations rarely live up to our worst fears, and there are ways to prepare and boost your confidence going in.  Consider these ideas:

They probably want to like you.

We have this idea that “the parents” are protective, overbearing ogres who can’t stand the idea of another human being mattering as much to their child as they do.  The fact is, a lot of parents are eager to see their kids meet someone amazing, get married, and give them cute, squirmy little grandchildren.  While it’s possible that your boyfriend’s parents are planning to hate you, the likelier scenario is that they’re hoping you’re wonderful, which means they’re already on your side.

Do your research.

Your significant other knows how daunting this meeting is for you, so don’t be afraid to ask him for a few pointers.  Find out what their pet peeves are, what qualities they value most, and how protective they tend to be of their son.  While you don’t want to pretend to be someone else when you meet them, it helps to know which characteristics you might want to accentuate and which bad habits you should probably leave at home.

Be yourself first and foremost.

As I just mentioned, it doesn’t hurt to be aware that certain habits of yours may either delight or disgust your partner’s parents.  But don’t let that knowledge throw you into a sit-com style scheme to pretend to be something you’re not.  Suppose this relationship lasts.  Do you really want to spend the rest of your life pretending to be a Harvard graduate with a budding career in nuclear physics?  That’s an exaggeration, but you get the point.  Be who you are.  Just remind who you are to . . .

Remember the manners your mama taught you.

Use your napkin.  Say please and thank you.  Keep bodily functions to yourself as much as possible.  These things seem obvious, but they can sometimes be forgotten in the rush to impress.

Honor the family culture.

I’m not just talking about ethnic culture here.  You’ve probably noticed throughout your life that each individual family has its own culture, its own values, its own way of doing things.  When you’re in your partner’s parents’ home, take note of their way of life.  If everyone is in socks, take off your shoes.  If everyone clears their own dish, do the same.  And if everyone’s slouched at the dinner table and talking with their mouths open, take the hint and back off the formality a little bit.  Again, it’s not about denying who you are; it’s about demonstrating respect for their way of life.

Take notes.

No matter how well your significant other prepped you going in, chances are you’ll pick up on a few details she missed.  So pay attention and hang on to the details you learn yourself.  If you notice that her dad brightens up every time someone mentions hunting season, you can do yourself a huge favor by remembering that the next time you see him.  And if you learn the hard way that her mother finds blond jokes offensive, consider the incident a learning opportunity, let go of the embarrassment, and remember for next time.

And if they hate you?

Huge bummer.  But sometimes, that’s the way it goes.  What matters is that you’ve got your partner—its unlikely this his parents’ opinion of you will suddenly shut down the whole relationship.  The only thing you can do is continue to treat him right and show your best side whenever you meet his folks.  With time, they’ll probably grow fond of you.  But if they don’t, oh well.

It’s all about the relationship, anyway.  By introducing you to her parents, your mate is only trying to bring you further into her life and make you a greater part of the things that matter most to her.  If you don’t fit in perfectly with every aspect of her world, it’s okay.  She can’t possibly expect you to.  What matters most is how you fit with her . . . and since she’s introducing you to the folks, I’m guessing you must fit pretty well.

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Social dating

 There is no doubt that social media like Facebook, Flickr and Twitter make it easy, with friends and family in touch, stay, promote your business, and follow your favorite topics. But like any other tool, social work media best for wise - especially when it comes to dating. Connecting and timely information can useful on the dating scene. On the other side, it is easy to area slip into TMI with someone you barely know. Can social networks you so, your social life boost?

Control itself - your online itself. Use search engines to see what information is available about you online. To determine your address, related names and other personal information are out there. You want to access every possible date to this data? If not, now is the time, to tighten up your privacy on Facebook and Twitter, decide what Flickr photos will be private, or only friends, and consider whether foursquare really needs to know that you are down right at the corner bar of this minute. Even searchable, its just show what trusts you with foreign parts to make.

Search implementation After you your potential dates online sought not, start now. Online searches and public postings you can check whether your is love interest that she says it is or does, what she says that it is doing. You can see also red flags or gaps in the judgment, that you otherwise could later - learn about only much, if at all - in a relationship. If nothing else, find out, whether your potential date a good grip on their online image has.

Thinking, before you friend - a good time is a good start, but you must have link at each you eat or drink. Carefully examined, where your networks adding, saving time and awkwardness when early dates from pan. When you add a new person for your networks, his contributions to read, see who his friends are, and examine how he is online. And because it will be the same with you, you do add it once, what you publish. You want this guy reading of your extensive list of food allergies or cat stomach rash, while you try to kindle a romance?

Self - pace She would delete five times Office not by your date on the day to say hello, so show some discretion in virtual contact. Too much social media interaction can be a nuisance and make you need are displayed. If you are on the receiving end of continuous virtual attention, it could be a flag for everything from over-eagerness to a personality disorder. Decide with, how much you are contact comfortably and maintain the border.

Keep it real - Text, tweet or message is a lot, in the early stages of dating it tempting your new love interest because it is so easy to do. But non-virtual contact for really to know someone always error. There is a lot what you learn about a person personally, or over the telephone, the not online. Tone of voice, facial expressions, and the eagerness or reluctance with which someone will be discussed a topic all kinds of information you can collect only from there.

And this is after all the whole goal of dating: enjoy someone's company in person. So put your social media considered, that present themselves, protect yourself and find the right person for you. Then spend some time together - offline.

Italian dating: learn culture

 
Italy is famous for its monuments and the manner in which they fall in love.

If you are interested in dating an Italian man or woman and one of the best ways to build a successful relationship to learn Italian culture and the differences between their culture and you. Whenever you even now someone from a different background, you can be difficult to keep your relationship strong as sometimes these differences can get in the way, especially when it comes to religion and traditions.

However, if you really are devoted to dating someone outside of your culture, then you need to be willing to bend and adapt to the lifestyle avatars, as they should be prepared to adapt to you, as well. So what sort of things should know when it comes to dating Italian man or woman online or offline?

Well, the Italians notorious for great food and cooking talents should be one of the first things that you should embrace when it comes to Italian culture. Italian cuisine is not only about pizza, you know, there are many great pasta dishes, which you probably never had tasted life and your Italian food has real depth and flavor that can drive your wild taste buds! If you want to impress your date, then get to know a bit about the type of food that they eat so that you can wow them with your knowledge.

Something else that defines the Italians really is wine. If you love wine, then great! You will be able to share your passion on stuff grapes together, and you'll be able to share tips and your knowledge of wines from different countries. If you are not a lot of wine wine, then don't lie information technology — rather than embrace the taste and experience Italian your dates and allow him or her to order your wine for you and educate you, Italians usually prepared only for teaching you all about wine.

Italian fashion is also something you should consider when it comes to dating Italian man or woman on the Internet or turn off. It would be most cultures tastes different fashion, however, Italy is one of the largest fashion capitals in the world and if you really want to impress your date, then you need to do your research to the Italian designers and fashion – so if you're not passionate about clothes.

Another way that you can impress your date Italian exchange your love of your parents, or specifically, your mother. Especially if you are going on a date with Italian man-everyone knows how Italian family means, if you share your history with your passion and enthusiasm for your parents, your family, then your date melt you! Never start your complaint about your family, it is a good starting point for a great date!

If you want to make sure that you have a great history will hopefully lead to date again, then make sure you keep these tips in mind when it comes to dating Italian man or woman. Make sure that you get to know more about the culture, food and wine, clothing and even family ties of the Italians, and you can be sure you are going to be a great blow in your history. Just remember-know your stuff and you'll be fine. Good luck and remember to have fun with your sexy Italian!