A Pep Talk For Lonely Hearts This Holiday Season

Yep, it’s that time again.  Time to settle in to the season of warmth and togetherness.  The great singles party known as Halloween has passed, and now we look forward to those quieter, more reflective holidays.  From what we can tell from year-end commercials, this is the season for cozy evenings by the fire, couples’ ice skating, and—soon enough—that New Year’s kiss.  It’s also the season that threatens bitterness in the hearts of burned-out singles all over the world.

Take heart, fellow singles, and remember one thing always:  This is not your only holiday season.

Likelier than not, you’ll be present for several more cozy holidays . . . probably a few decades’ worth.  Your fate is not sealed by the fact that you’re alone beneath the mistletoe, nor does showing up without a date to Thanksgiving mean that you are doomed to a lifetime of loneliness.  In fact, this time next year, you could very well be on the arm of someone who loves you wildly.

No, this is not your only chance to enjoy a holiday season.  But it is your only chance to enjoy this one.

When we seem surrounded by happy couples, it gets so easy to obsess over what we don’t have, but this is the season for embracing that which is already ours.  And what is special about this holiday season?  What victories can you celebrate this year?  Which friends and family members have you grown closer to since New Year’s , and how can you connect with others?  Suppose you do find love in 2011.  Then this will be your last holiday to give your full focus to friends and family.

This will be your last holiday to indulge in all of your traditions, exactly the way you want to . . . without compromise, without awkward holiday dinners at his folks’ place, without feeling overrun on December 26 for having just spent the past 48 hours trying to keep two different families happy.

This is your year to realize that all those ooey-gooey, happy holiday vibes are already within you . . . that even though someone else might help you discover joys you don’t know now, you’re still more than capable of living fully in the meantime.  This year you can announce a Christmas movie marathon that could be otherwise poo-pooed by a bah-humbugged mate.  You can put up your tackiest decorations and bake cookies at two in the morning.  You can curl up on snowy nights and reflect on your life . . . on how far you’ve come, on what you’re grateful for, on your wishes and goals for the coming year.

Love will come some day . . . but this is the only 2010 holiday season you get.  If you feel a little wallow coming on when you get home from a couples-saturated holiday party, give yourself an evening to mope.  It’s good for you.  But don’t let everyone else’s joy be the death of yours.  Relationship or not, you’ve got plenty to be happy about.

Holiday Fun, Single-Style

-Start a new tradition that’s all your own . . . maybe make a special trip or perfect a dish that you can make every year.

-Call in sick and have a cozy day in.

-Have a baking marathon.

-Have a movie marathon.

-Go holiday shopping with your friends.

-Take up an indoor hobby like knitting.

-Take up an outdoor hobby, like skiing.

-Write thank you letters to everyone who has been good to you this year.

-Make a plan to fulfill your New Year’s Resolution(s).

-Let your friends drag you to holiday parties.

-Create the ultimate holiday playlist.

-Volunteer for a holiday-themed charity.

-Visit a relative you rarely see.

Budget-Friendly Gift Ideas

 
With the holiday season comes the pressure of gift buying.  If you’re currently in a relationship or trying to win someone’s heart, you’re probably wracking your brain for the perfect gift.  And if—like most of us—you’re on a strict budget, you may also be wondering if there’s any chance you can find a gift that is both worthy of your partner and gentle on your checking account.

Allow yourself a sigh of relief.  Your mom meant what she said when you made her that macaroni birthday card in kindergarten; a little creativity does go a long way.  Here are a few ideas for meaningful gifts on a fixed budget.

Personalized Notebook or Planner.

Find a moderately-priced planner or—if you have a list-maker or journaler to buy for—an affordable notebook.  Then embellish each page with a meaningful quote or a special message from you to your partner.  You can write directly in the book, you can print your words out on colored paper and glue them in . . . whatever works for you.  Not only is this a thoughtful gift, but your partner gets little bits of your love as she uses the notebook each day for the next year.

365 Sweet Nothings

You may want to get an early start on this one . . . it takes a while.  The concept is pretty simple, though.  Find a little decorative box or jar (or decorate one you find at a craft supply store) and fill it with 365 slips of paper, each one with a message from you.  Keep them simple, like “I love your laugh” or “Remember that time we spent an entire day watching Woody Allen movies?”  To mix up your material, you may also want to include some famous quotes that make you think of your partner.  Check out sites like QuoteGarden.com and ThinkExist.com.  When you give this gift to your sweetheart, let him know there’s one message for him for each day of the year.

Collage or Shadow Box

Your relationship is a collection of a million special moments.  Chances are, you’ve collected memorabilia from your favorites.  Dig up old photographs, ticket stubs, postcards, etc, and choose the few that mean the most to you.  Then make a collage or arrange them in a shadow box as an homage to your love that your significant other can hang up and admire.  If you’re feeling truly ambitious, make a scrapbook documenting your relationship or your time together in the last year.

Thrift Store Find

Never underestimate the power of the thrift store.  It’s true, your significant other is probably not into body suites with pit stains, but if you dig a little deeper, you may find a unique piece of jewelry or the favorite childhood game he hasn’t been able to find in stores since his mom sold it at a garage sale.  Sometimes great things come in secondhand packages.

The ________ of the Month Club

Enroll your sweetheart in your own, made-up “Something” of the Month Club.  Maybe it’s the Home-Cooked Meal of the Month or the Sporting Event of the Month or the New Restaurant of the Month.  Think of something you know your partner wishes the two of  you did more, and let your gift be a promise in writing that you’ll fulfill that interest once a month.  It’s like the gift that keeps on giving.  Just be sure to follow through.  If you lose your gusto and cancel the club in March, you will never be allowed to forget it.

It may be clichéd, but in gift giving, it really is the thought that counts.  Big, fancy things are nice, but the average person is much more interested in gifts that come from the heart . . . gifts that remind us that we are known and loved by the people who mean the most to us.  Give from the heart, and your partner probably won’t think to wonder what it cost you.

Online Dating and Safety

Online dating has become an accepted way of meeting and getting to know people for friendship and prospective romantic partners. It’s so convenient to do things this way since you never have to even leave your home to get the ball rolling. You can visit a variety of online dating websites, or you can hop in and out of some dating chat rooms. It’s also possible to get acquainted with someone you’ve come into contact with in your favorite forum. There are so many ways to do this.

One of the biggest concerns with online dating, however, is the issue of safety. Most of the time this applies to women rather than men, although there are definitely some women that can be just as dangerous as the most frightening of men. In addition, it’s difficult to tell who you can trust and who you need to avoid at all costs. There’s just no sure fire way to know. That’s why safety is so very important.

While you can’t always be 100 percent positive that you’ve hooked up with someone completely trustworthy, you can at least take some sensible measures that give you an advantage in this area.

The first one of these is to never give all of your personal information right off the bat. Sure, you need to give someone your first name, but there’s no reason that you should offer your last night along with your phone number and street address. All you need to chat with each other for a while is first names. Some people even go so far as to use aliases in the beginning.

Talking online is relatively safe. You can chat privatly and get a lot of your questions answered about someone while you’re getting to know each other. When you’re ready, you can move things along by chatting via webcam. In this way, you can see each other, which can tell a lot about what someone is really like. This, too, is a great way to get acquainted while remaining safe.

When you’re ready to meet face to face, make it during the day at a very public place. It’s also a good idea to take a friend along with you. That friend can sit somewhere else where you’re in full view, or they can join you until you give the signal that you’re comfortable enough for them to leave. It’s also a good idea to use your own transportation and meet in the agreed upon location.  In this way, your address is still safe and you’ve got your own way to “escape” if you feel the need.

Never meet someone until you’re completely 100 percent comfortable with that person. There are many ways to run background checks on people these days, too. That’s something else that you may want to consider. It’s also a better idea to keep your home’s location a secret until you’ve been dating for a while. When you’re fully relaxed and confident that someone is safe for you to be seeing, then you can open up a bit more. Until then, never take anything at face value.

I Love Him but He’s a Terrible Kisser

Kissing is one of the most intimate things that two people can do with each other. It’s almost as intimate as the act of sex because you’re connected in a truly physical way, especially if you’re using your tongue. When you think about it, you can practically call it Mouth Intercourse. It’s so intimate, in fact, that there are people that will have sex with someone but won’t kiss them unless they’re in love with them.  Anyway, you get the point.

Yes, kissing is a beautiful act. However, there are a significant number of people on the earth that just don’t know how to kiss. This can, many times, be a complete turnoff for some women. They may be very attracted to a man and have all kinds of things in common with him, but the first time they kiss, he slobbers all over her face or sucks at her tongue like a vacuum cleaner. Either way, it’s not conducive to endearing him to her. The only way out of that situation is if the two of them have already formed a bond of some sort so that it’s not imperative that he knows how to kiss well.

If you’re a woman whose partner doesn’t seem to have to slightest idea of how to kiss, there are some ways to handle the situation so that it’s not a total disaster. First of all, though, you need to decide if you care enough about him to make the effort. If everything else about him is perfect, then you may want to try to see what you can do about turning his kissing into something more desirable.

Since men can be rather sensitive about such things as being told that they kiss like a Hoover, you’ll probably need to find a way to show him rather than tell him how you want to be kissed. This doesn’t have to be easier said than done, either. Pick one of those times when you’re sort of just having an impromptu make out session and play with the kissing part. If he tries to dive right in, slow him down by nibbling a bit on his bottom lip. You have to take control of the pace in order to get him to pay attention to what you’re doing.

Now, if he just refuses to follow your lead and keeps diving back in like the slobbering Hoover, you may have to tell him in words that it really turns you on to kiss slowly at first. If you can slow him down, you’re got a great chance of teaching him some new kissing techniques. Granted, he may never turn into the best kisser you’ve ever been with, but if you can get him to try out some of the new things you’re showing him, he’ll at least become more exciting as a kisser. It will also let you know that he’s open to learning new techniques, which can be applied to other parts of your love life. That’s ALWAYS handy information to have.

Signs that Your Woman is Cheating on You

 
Everyone knows that men cheat all the time. It’s almost like it’s in their DNA or something. If it’s genetic, they just can’t help themselves, right?  While that’s probably a lot of nonsense, something else to consider is that women also cheat. They may not cheat quite as much as men, but they DO step out on their men for various reasons. Sometimes they’re better at hiding it than their cheating male counterparts, though. There are signs, however, that you can look for if you think your woman may be cheating on you.

They include:

Accusing YOU of cheating: This is a way of diverting the guilt from herself to you. Even worse, is if you’ve cheated on her before, she may give herself permission to get even with you by cheating. Either way, she knows what she’s done and figures that you may be doing the same thing. 

Starting to look her best when she goes out: When you notice your partner suddenly dressing to the nines when she’s supposedly going grocery shopping or to the gym, you may want to investigate why she needs to look so gorgeous. 

Telling you she needs some space: While this doesn’t always mean she’s cheating, it can mean that she wants you out of the way so she’ll be free to meet a lover. 

Hinting that she’s not happy: If your partner is telling you things like she needs more romance in her life, and that she loves things like getting flowers and love notes, you need to take her seriously. You see, if YOU don’t hear what she’s telling you, someone ELSE WILL. 

Making a new best friend that you’ve never met: In this case, it’s not so much that she’s made a new best friend and you’ve never met this friend, it’s that she’s suddenly spending lots of time with this new friend. In addition, she always has an excuse for why it’s not a good time to meet her. 

Changing her plans at the very last minute: For example, she’s gone out for a night on the town with the new best friend that you’ve never met and calls you around midnight with some excuse for why she’s just going to crash at her friend’s place for the night. 

Your friends are telling you she’s cheating: Of course you don’t want to believe something like that, and she’s told you it’s not true. However, if more than one person tells you they know she’s cheating, it’s probably true. 

Suddenly wanting to keep close tabs on you: When your woman is cheating on you, she needs to make sure that she’s not likely to run into you while she’s doing it.

Making excuses for not having sex: This should be a huge red flag, especially if she was always raring to go in the past. Now, all of a sudden, she’s too tired, doesn’t feel well, or has the most frequent and longest periods in history.

Has no interest in the relationship: She probably doesn’t care enough to even argue with you anymore.
You may think that these are all pretty obvious signs of cheating but you would be surprised at how many of them that men actually miss.

How to Tell if He’s Mr. Wrong

Finding Mr. Right ? Sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s Mr. Wrong you’re having a drink with. While some of the signs are rather obvious, there are other ones that sort of get bypassed until it’s almost too late.

Keep a look out for these signs that he’s Mr. Wrong:

• He talks about all the strange sex he’s had through the years and then tells you that he’s so happy you live nearby because now the two of you can get together for casual sex. (Seriously?)

• He mentions during conversation that you look so young, and then quickly follows that with how much he loves young girls. (Should you leave immediately or call the cops?)


• You’re in bed with an older, European man and having a pretty good time. Suddenly, you realize he’s wearing panties. He might just be kinky or he might be sleazy. (Since it’s hard to tell, you may want to use your intuition.)


• So you’re out with a guy at a theme park and he wins a huge stuffed animal. You think he should give it to you or to some little kid but he petulantly refuses and carries it around the rest of the day. The stuffed animal has its own seat between you on the plane going home. (What a big baby!)


• He’s got a low class job that he’s been doing because it’s fun for several years, yet he seems to always have plenty of money. It’s a good chance that he’s doing something shady on the side.


• (You don’t need to take any chances with this one.)What about the guys that want to control everything you do? For example, he instructs you on the “correct” way to hold your knife and fork while you eat and demands that you start eating “his” way.


• (Just because he’s from another country doesn’t mean his way is the only way.)On your first date, he takes you to dinner along with his mother. (Sure, a man needs to love his mother, but this feels more like a Mommy’s Boy.)


• He actually POUTS when he doesn’t get his way. (Do you WANT to be in a relationship with a child?)


• He makes snide remarks about all of your friends, and he’s not even all that careful about them not hearing him. (He’s already trying to control you by alienating you from your friends. This is sort of scary.)

Some of these are obvious and others aren’t so obvious. That’s why you need to pay close attention in the beginning when you’re dating someone new. If you notice something that seems a bit “off,” don’t assume that it’s nothing and that you’re just overreacting. That’s rarely the case. Keep in mind that when you’re able to spot Mr. Wrong early on, you won’t waste any more time on him when you could be out searching for Mr. Right. Do yourself a favor and don’t let new guys get away with anything that bothers you or makes you unhappy.

8 first date ideas for outdoorsy types

If you looking for something a bit more original than the typical "Dinner and cinema," more power to you. As a woman I can tell you that boys get big brownie points for coming up with and creative planning meetings that prove that more than a newspaper has been opened. If your wife loves communing with nature, are here are some ideas for your first rendezvous that appeal to their casual clothing page and make sure that you get a second date.

Trails - the great mystery about hiking, which says no one, is that it really only by a different name foot. Find a shady way in the neck of the Woods and charge them with for the ride. The landscape will provide a welcome distraction, while learning two each other. 

Rock climbing - one of my all-time requires favorite events, this one a plan, such as the two of you need to take an intro class, if you do not experienced mountaineers. However, there are many gyms to offer the affordable introductions, and generally you will receive your own teacher. Develop trust from backup each other, then you meet your post-climbing appetite through access to eat something. 

A picnic in the Park - a classic first-date tour, is it hard to go wrong with a blanket, a picnic basket and some home-made treats. Make your thoughtfulness shine through you, then seal the deal with PB & j.riding - risk of over-generalizing, women love horses. Whether it angle the "White Knight" or just the excitement of the session on an animal several times your size, riding lessons or even a tour à la Cheval, will the romance factor of each excursion above. 

Kayaking - for those who happily enough life close to a body of water, why not a kayak rent (Yes, only men... one,) (You do paddling) and float around? While swimming probably a little much is (it would be almost naked probably would rather not for the first time, that the two of them depend on that), the water is ideal for Sparks, see below.

A daredevil skydiving – you have in your hands, you create by jumping from a plane accompanied by a lifelong bond. Not for the faint of heart, it is an incredible rush - and the thrill of touching back down on the Earth is sure to bring you two together closer sweet, solid.

Ride bikes - looking for something a little tamer? Area of the city on two wheels. If you're serious about advertising this one, you should also a tandem bicycle for rent. There is a risk, and may be a little cheesy side, but it's hard to deny the appeal of "a bicycle built for two".

Camping - it could be a stretch for a first date, but if you really jonesing for an outdoor adventure, throw a tent in the truck and wipe your way to a secluded place. Advantages: No TV, menu-review or snotty waiter, you distract. Disadvantages: Bears!

Where do you stand on love and money?

What kind of money-savvy do you look for in a significant other? If you're baffled by the question, it's time to get wise. In tough economic times like these (heck, in any times at all), money and how the person you might want to eventually marry handles, thinks about and spends their greenbacks can have a massive impact on your would-be relationship (not to mention whether your future kids go to college or work at Burger King).

Most dating sites take you through the in's and out's, asking you practically everything about the kind of person you'd like to be with. What do they look like? Where do they hang out? What size shoe do they wear? You're grilled about everything except how they manage finances, who they go to for advice about monetary setbacks, and what they'd be willing to give up if they lost their only source of income.

But Perfectmatch is different. The site's Love & Money Assessment lets you evaluate your financial compatibility with your matches, addressing this crucial (but often taboo) subject before the ball gets rolling. Integrated into the Duet Total Compatibility System, these 7 questions ask about your financial habits and values to help you determine the ideal economic profile for your potential mates.

Are you searching for a saver or desperate for someone who's willing to shell out for spontaneity? Find out how you stack up financially, and save now with our Perfectmatch.com discount!

Long Distance Romance: Staying Close Across the Miles

 
You decided to go for it.  You and your significant other have examined your relationship and determined that, however challenging it may be, what you have is worth hanging on to, regardless of physical distance.  Congratulations!  It’s a big deal to find a relationship that means so much!

Even so, you know perfectly well that there will be challenges.  You may even be a little worried about maintaining that special connection that keeps your relationship solid when you’re face-to-face.  With a little creativity and a little time, you and your sweetheart are bound to develop some long-distance rituals of your own.  In the meantime, here are a few ideas to get you started:

The Virtual Ritual

A long-term relationship is made up of hundreds of those little rituals you develop with your partner.  Thanks to modern technology, you can still share some of those rituals regardless of distance.  Keep having lunch together through Skype.  Bring your phone along and chat through the evening walk you used to share.  If you’re in different time zones, record that show you both love so you can watch it “together” when it comes on in your sweetheart’s city.  By maintaining a few rituals, you not only continue to bond through them, you also reassure yourself and your partner that you’re still united, never mind the miles.

Give A Little Love Every Day

Writing a love letter or sending a gift every day might not be practical.  But here’s a way to deliver your most heartfelt sentiments to the one you miss every day.  For each day that you’ll be separated, write down something you love about her or a quote that makes you think of him.  Fold them up, put them in a box, and tell your partner to read one every day at the time she most needs your love and encouragement.  It’s a great way to still be there when you can’t physically be there.

Play Online

A little friendly competition is good for a relationship.  Help nurture the playful side of your relationship by challenging your partner to an online game, like chess or scrabble or whatever your style may be.

Sit Under The Stars

Unless your significant other is on the other side of the world, you can always draw comfort from the knowledge that—no matter how far away he may be—you’re still under the same moon and the same stars.  A sappy sentiment, but reassuring nonetheless.  Celebrate this little commonality by sharing a moonlit picnic over the phone.

Share The Small Things

What makes serious relationships so meaningful is that you share nearly everything.  No hears more of the details of your day than your significant other, and probably no one else is as good as she is at deciphering the cryptic texts you send about your boss during business meetings.  When distance separates you, resist the instinct to broaden your communication.  Yes, some details may have to fall by the wayside, but don’t forget to send a text about the weird duffle-bag guy in the subway or to give your full review of your new coworker’s nose-blowing ritual the next time you’re on the phone with your partner.  It’s the little details that keep you both mindful that this relationship is special.

Send Your Scent

You don’t have to spray your letters with perfume if that’s a little too clichéd for you.  But do be aware of how powerful a familiar scent can be.  When you and your sweetheart part ways, make sure she has an article of clothing or a blanket or something that would carry your scent.  It’s a wonderful, wordless way to keep the connection.  Fragrances have a way of conjuring up vivid memories and emotions in ways that nothing else can.

Nothing beats real face time, and you’d never be able to fool yourselves into believing that this time apart is no different than your moments together.  But there’s no need for all-out wallowing.  You can still nurture your love from across the miles if you keep in mind the things that make your relationship so wonderful.  Romance is all about finding creative ways to celebrate your bond.  Consider this an opportunity to expand your repertoire.

About You: Tackling the Self-Description in Your Online Profile

You’ve found your most flattering photos.  You’ve filled out your age, height, and zodiac sign.  You’ve even listed your twenty favorite bands.  But the Self-Summary section is still blank, the cursor blinking incessantly in the empty box as if to say, “C’mon, let’s get this done.”

Most online daters hate the About Me section of their profiles.  How do you sum yourself up in just a couple hundred words?  Harder still, how do you sum yourself up in just a few hundred words while making yourself desirable to prospective matches?

The first step is to relax.  You don’t have to capture the true essence of your being, you just have to spout off a few facts about yourself that might pique someone’s interest.  You also don’t have to dig up amazing accomplishments or wow the crowds with your crazy experiences.  Most singles aren’t looking for someone with amazing stats; they’re looking for someone whose personality and interests mesh with theirs.  All you have to do is give them a small sample of who you are.

Here are a few ideas to get you started.

What are your likes/dislikes?

This little maneuver has been done to death, but that’s because when you get specific, it really communicates a lot about you.  The old “I like honesty, I dislike bad attitudes” won’t help you much, so think of the details.  “I love girls who laugh at old Adam Sandler movies, and I can’t stand trendy cupcake shops.”  That statement reveals a lot about who that dude is, and—because it’s so specific—he now has all Sandler-loving girls imagining themselves nestled in the crook of the profiler’s arm and laughing it up over Billy Madison.

What are your hobbies?

Again, this is a generic approach that can be made stronger through specifics.  There are plenty of people online who play guitar . . . so maybe use up a few more words to say that you play guitar for your all-girl Aerosmith cover band.  But as always, err on the side of safety when you talk specifically about your free time.  It’s a great idea to talk about your favorite trail, but avoid details like “Every Saturday at 8 a.m., I hike Secluded Trail at Creepy Woods State Park because the park is totally empty at that time.”  An exaggeration, of course, but you get my drift.

Where are you from and why does it matter?

“Where are you from?” isn’t just for small talk.   People usually ask because where we come from shapes who we are.  When you talk about your hometown, elaborate.  How has your background shaped you?  What values of your culture do you still embrace?  For example, “I grew up in a small town in Iowa, and while it’s kind of a relief to me to be in a big city for once, I’m trying to hang on to the friendly habits I learned while living in a place where I knew all my neighbor’s names.”

What do you value most?

One of the best things about dating online is that we’re likelier to be upfront about the important things in our profile than we are when we’re chatting someone up at a bar.  There’s usually no smooth way to slip in a comment like, “I really believe in open communication.”  So take advantage of the opportunity to get on your soapbox of values for a minute and talk about those priorities in your online profile.  You’re likely to strike a chord with someone who can relate.

Where are you headed?

Most prospectives are going to be curious about your personal goals.  Whether you’re focused on your career ambition, personal development, or a bit of both, revealing your vision of a future self will reveal a lot about your priorities.  It will also help you snag the attention of someone who envisions a complementary future for herself.  Of course, the key here is to choose your topic carefully.  You may want to avoid saying things like, “In five years I hope to have a handle on this body odor issue.”

What are you looking for?

You’ve probably already answered this question to some degree in other aspects of your profile . . . what sex you’re interested in, whether you’re looking for something serious, you may have even listed an age range and a body type preference.  But this is your chance to get into the details . . . to tell the folks browsing your profile that you want someone with whom you can laugh or take road trips or talk politics.  Just be sure that you separate your actual standards from your fantasy.  You don’t want to lose a great match because you mentioned that you want to have a relationship with someone who can jam with you as you explore the hip-hop/country music hybrid you’re creating.  Also make sure you keep this portion of your profile positive.  Griping about all the losers who didn’t live up to your expectations is a guaranteed turn-off.

Share a few random facts.

I’ve found that this is weirdly affective.  Does it seem relevant that you have an irrational fear of koala bears or that you broke your leg when you fell out of a shopping cart at age four?  Nope.  But these things are interesting, they’re quirky, and they add a little more demension to your character.

Describing yourself is a daunting assignment.  So give yourself a break by looking at it from a new perspective.  It’s not about defining who you are in one paragraph.  It’s about offering a teaser of your full personality . . . a collection of facts that give other singles a taste of what you’re about.  And if you find that the profile you’ve developed isn’t working?  Well, nothing’s permanent; you can edit any time.  Relax and have fun with it.

Help! His Best Friend is a Woman

 
It’s certainly not uncommon for a man to have a woman as his best friend. While it’s not uncommon, it CAN become problematic if the relationship is closer than a romantic relationship will ever be for either of them. Sex certainly does not have to be involved for a man and a woman to be monumentally close. It happens all the time with Internet relationships. However, if your partner has a female best friend and she seems to be more a part of your lives and relationship than you would like, you need to do something to change that.

Of course, the first thing you need to figure out is if there’s actually anything inappropriate with their friendship. If your partner is spending hours on the phone with his best friend on a regular basis to the extent that he’s ignoring you; that’s a problem. When you and your partner go out for the evening, if she always has to tag along or, worse yet, he makes plans to go out with her ALONE; there is a very big issue. If she’s invited by your partner to come along on your vacations, then you may definitely want to mention it to him.

Basically, if your partner is treating his “best friend” more like a girlfriend, you’ve got every right to make your feelings known. Hopefully, he’ll be reasonable about it and see your point of view. If he doesn’t, there are a few things to try so that he’ll finally get it.

Once you’ve talked to your partner about including his best friend LESS in your relationship; that should be the end of it. However, if it’s not, and he continues to put her ahead of you, it may be time to go out and find your OWN best friend: a male, of course. This is known as giving him a taste of his own medicine. Show him how it feels to be left at home while you go out for a night on the town with your best friend. Be sure to bring your best friend along on outings and trips with you and your partner. Actually, this could work better than you had hoped if HIS best friend and YOUR best friend hook up.

If his best friend has a partner of her own, you may try sitting down and talking things over with him. It may be that he’s just as frustrated as you are with this friendship and the two of you can work together to tone things down a notch. It’s certainly worth a shot.

Only use an ultimatum as a last resort. Men can be pretty strange creatures when it comes to telling them what they can and cannot do. If you make him choose between his best friend and you, things may not work out like you want them to. Even though he’s not having a sexual relationship with his best friend, he may decide that he would still rather keep her in his life and get rid of you. If that happens, all you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned. Next time, you’ll know what to watch for in the BEGINNING of a relationship rather than spotting it after you’ve settled in.

The Competitive Partner’s Guide To Surviving Your Mate’s Success

 
Your partner is first and foremost your . . . well . . . partner.  She’s the person you know will always have your back.  She’ll celebrate with you in your victories and encourage you in your defeats.  She believes in you, brags about you, and wishes you well.

Even so, if you’re the competitive type, it can be easy to forget that your mate is playing on your team.  This is especially true if you’re going through a slump at the same time that he seems to be inundated with wild successes.  A little frustration is natural, but you may want to start looking for way to quiet that competitive streak if you’re finding that frustration is blossoming into resentment.  If your best friend is starting to look like Enemy Number One, it may be a good time to try some of these tips.

Remind yourself, one more time, that this is a partnership.

He may be basking in his current success, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t rooting for you anymore.  If your mate is having a sudden wave of victories, you may be feeling a little unimportant.  You may feel like you’re standing in his shadow, staring up at this giant of a human being who can accomplish all he puts his mind to.  You may be wondering if he still thinks you’re good enough.  Believe me, he does.  In his mind, you’re not a bug in his shadow.  You’re among the greatest reasons he was able to succeed.  You were his strength and support throughout the journey, and you’re the one person he knows believes in him.  He knows this because he believes in you, and he’s eager to see you succeed.  In victory and in defeat, you’re in this together.

Remember that your turn will come.

It’s the natural pattern of life.  Sometimes she’ll be up and you’ll be down.  Other days, the tables will turn.  You each get your chance in the spotlight.  Be patient and faithful that your time will come, and use this opportunity to share in her excitement.  She’ll remember how eagerly you cheered her on when your turn for success comes around.

Take a break.

While it’s important to celebrate with your partner, bear in mind that you can—and should—take time out for yourself.  If your mate is suddenly inundated with parties and events and performances related to his recent success, it’s okay to duck out of some of the less significant ones.  You need to nurture your own ego, too; it’s hard to do that when your social calendar is filled only with his interests in mind.

Have other hobbies.

If you and your partner have the same career, same interests, or same skill set, a disparity in your individual achievements can be especially biting.  If you’re feeling unintentionally upstaged by your mate at a skill you both share, now might be a good time to tap into the hobbies that are yours and yours alone.  That’s not to say you should stop cultivating your similar interest.  But it is a good idea to have a skill that’s all your own to remind yourself that—no matter how much you may share—you will always have some unique talents that are only yours.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

As previously mentioned, the tables will one day turn.  And when they do, how would you hope for your partner to respond?  Wouldn’t you want him to embrace the partnership rather than rushing headlong into competitive mode?  Wouldn’t you love to share your victories with him, rather than spending your celebration time trying to convince him he’s not a loser just because he hasn’t accomplished what you did?  I know, I know . . . knowing the right way to behave is way different from finding it within yourself to actually behave that way.  But at least tune into that empathy and remember that your partner deserves to enjoy this moment.  Even if it doesn’t take the sting away altogether, it might help you find the strength to muster one more heartfelt smile.

There’s no easy cure for a crushed ego . . . but there is a cure for sour grapes.  It comes down to knowing yourself—knowing when it’s time to back away and give yourself some space and knowing when it’s time to suck it up, dig up that adoring smile, and tell your partner how proud you are of her.  Because if you dig down beneath all the bitterness, you’ll find that you actually, truly are.

Where are you Mr. Right?

Tired of being single? Tired of all the lonely nights? Have you tried dating alternatives such as online dating and have exhausted all online dating tips but still nothing?

Is Mr. Right as elusive as the Loch Ness monster? What does it take to find Mr. Right?

Scientifically speaking, the odds of finding Mr. Right online is roughly about 1 in 285,000.

But love, like any emotion, is neither black nor white. There are no definite principles applied to them.

They are unpredictable as can be. No formulas or methods to be done to make the process faster or easier.
Wish it would be as simple as that, right?

The greatest mistake women make is that they think too much. They think of all the possibilities of a date going wrong rather than take pleasure in the actual date.

They have a fantasy date and a dream guy. The dream guy then sweeps them off their feet.

They have a certain criteria of their dream guy. When he doesn’t come to par, he’s crossed out of the list.

Come on! Life is not a fairy tale but you can certainly make your own happy ending.

Dating should be a time to explore new options, meet new people and experience new things. Rather than complain about dates gone wrong, isn’t it better to just move on?

Online dating does not have a hard and fast rule. It only encourages people to explore options out of their own comfort zone. It helps you meet other people outside your circle of friends and workplace.

Online dating only broadens your options. And although online dating is a sure time saver, you must also put in the effort. That increases your chances of meeting Mr. Right.

Remember there are millions of online dating subscribers out there looking for love. All you have to do is to just jump in there and let it happen.

Of course it wouldn’t happen overnight. Why not take pleasure in dating? The getting to know you part is one of the best parts of a relationship.

Let go. Have fun. It is okay to want to find Mr. Right but be open to other options as well. You never know that he might be somewhere you least expect him to be.
Serendipity, that’s how you should view love. Meeting a few wrongs would certainly make you appreciate meeting the right one.

Nobody has the secrets in finding the Mr. Right although many claim they do. Your Mr. Right is different from another’s Mr. Right so it doesn’t necessarily mean what works for you will work for others. So don’t expect it to be.

The internet is littered with online dating tips. However, the main thing to remember is, DO NOT LOOK FOR MR. RIGHT. Don’t let your search for Mr. Right ruin your chances of finding him.
When the time is right, he will come into your life. Just appreciate life. The more you look for Mr. Right the more that life passes you by.

Online Flirting 101

When you try something new, fear instantly invades your thoughts. It is the fear of the unknown that sometimes holds you back to what you want.

Online dating certainly feels like that. You’re afraid of what’s going to happen, if whether it will work out or not. Or you may be afraid that it will work but may make a mistake along the way and screw it up.
This is when our online dating tips come into play. One of the fatal mistakes anyone can make is by over-thinking things and not enjoying the process of online dating.

The whole point of getting into online dating is to experience something new and meet new people. It is as straightforward as that. Let yourself be free to enjoy it. Besides, the getting to know you stage and the flirting stage can be the best parts of dating.

Flirting online is somewhat different from the conventional dating, and there are factors that need to be taken into consideration.

First of all, it isn’t face-to-face. You have to rely on digitally inputted words to convey what you want to say. First impressions are based on viewing profiles of potential mates.

Since the basis of finding your potential match is on what you read, words should be more expressive than normal. Each message you want to convey should be written in a way that the feeling is conveyed also.
And with today’s technology, emoticons can be added to make the message more expressive. The most common symbols used are the heart, smileys and even punctuation marks. Capitalization of letters also express immense emotions.

Online dating also provides ways on how to make a connection with potential mates. Winks are usually used on online dating sites. It lets a potential mate know that you are interested.
However, sending several winks to one person isn’t exactly a turn on. Every wink should be followed by a short message. It becomes more personal and not methodical. Be simple with the message.
No one likes to read a novel as a conversation starter. The message must contain your interest in opening the opportunity for future conversations.

After an interest has been expressed, it is time for the hard part: waiting for a reply. Remember that if a reply is not made immediately do not be disappointed. Just move on your next potential mate.
There are a million reasons for a potential mate to not give you an immediate reply, so give them some time and space. It is not a turn on if you keep sending messages. It might seem stalker-like. Open yourself for other options.

The first conversation is crucial for it would lay the foundation for a potential relationship. Let it flow smoothly. Do not force anything too soon. If it will happen, it will happen. These online dating tips can only do so much.

Chemistry is not something that can be produced. It is either there or isn’t. Eventually, you might opt to talk through video or meet face-to-face. Here, it is easier to show that you are interested.
Facial expressions and body language help in understanding the other person’s feelings and intentions. Be aware of the other person. Try to connect with every conversation. Flirting does not come easy for some people but the best way to do it is to be honest with what you are feeling.

Meet local singles with Indian online dating

 
Meet singles looking for love with Indian dating online.

No one said dating was easy, it is appropriate to try to find the ideal partner with life in General can be hard work, so thanks for his online dating! Online dating has become very popular with people all over the world, and has helped to combine million pairs.

There are many different types of dating websites, there are even sites that specialize in different cultures, including assisting Indian singles like yourself to meet other like-minded singles.

If you want to meet local Indian individual then you can join any number of online dating sites where you are able to upload and share photos of yourself, add profiles of other singles, surfing and much more.

If you have a busy lifestyle or you're just finding it difficult to meet Indian men or women in your area and then return online will help to bring you together with your perfect match.

Not only can you find love and friendship with other Indian men and women, but so could end in find your mate ... Soul of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with marriage. There are thousands of Indian singles just waiting to talk to you.

Once you have created the profile on the Internet you are free to browse profiles and other pictures, chatting to people, letter, e-mail and may even have video chats.

The great thing about using online dating to find your game even safe and easy to use. In fact dating online is probably one of the safest ways to meet people from all cultures and backgrounds. Dating online is ideal for people who have difficulty interacting with others face-to-face, as well as it provides an anonymous Forum to begin a relationship.  So it doesn't matter if it's hard to talk to people when they meet you can also get to know each other online before they even think about meeting personally.

Here are some tips to help you find the one perfect your Indian:

Choose clear photograph, and so far for yourself – if you are concerned that don't portray good, then why not invest in some professional photos taken? It will mean that you have the opportunity to show your best assets better, and you will have some images that you're proud. keep your profile is simple, and you don't want to point-a complex restructuring that will overload visitors with information. If you give everything away in the initial profile then no one will contact you to ask you more. Keep it intriguing and leaves a bit of confusion for visitors and great tag line — if you have a good sign and will draw people to your profile more. don't waste time-if you don't see any kind of future with the person who interacts with then don't waste your time and theirs, moved to someone more suitable for you. be honest there's no point in lying about who you are or what you want, so just be honest in your profile and will be more likely to search for The Indian partner your ideal.

If you don't know where to start when it comes to using online dating to find single Indian then the best thing you can do to run a comparison on any good search engine. Look for cost, member feedback, reviews, and how many times to get sites to find a good idea of what the dating site is similar. Good luck and have fun finding your Indian man or woman today.